Awkward Conversations & Starting Small
Have you ever had a conversation with someone you know—maybe you know them well, or maybe you don’t—that is fun and flowing smoothly, until they say something in passing that contradicts or challenges what you believe… and you do not know where to go from there?
The casual statement may be something like, “They’re a pretty backwards country, they don’t even let women have abortions.” For me, it’s often something like “You must be so proud watching all those people in Poland protest that abortion ban.”
It’s a freeze-frame moment. Do I tell them? Do I not tell them? Do I say something like, “you know, I’m actually pro-life.” “You know, I actually agree with the ban keeping children from being aborted due to disabilities.” “Actually, have you heard of Georgetown Right To Life — I’m on the board of the club and we believe that the dignity of human life begins at conception.”
I wish I could stand here and confess that I do stand up and say any of those things. All of those things. Every single time someone asks me about my opinion. But the truth is that sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I think about the looks that I’ll get afterwards and whether that might actually end my friendship… and, instead, I shuffle and try to move away from the subject.
Now, if you’re the type of person who can stand up and profess your pro-life views from the rooftops unashamedly, I admire you. Honestly, you are integral to this movement and I love you very much. But, I’m not there yet. I don’t have a lot of friends, and I usually very much avoid conflict when it comes to my more controversial views. When considering the hatred that I’ve heard levelled at others and even at myself in the past, often it’s easiest to just brush things off and choose to stay silent.
But, I also know that staying silent isn’t my goal. I’m not ashamed of my pro-life values. Even though it may sound like I’m scared, and I am, I know that seeking to protect and preserve human life is the right thing to do… and it is not going to change. No: my goal is to develop my voice over time, encouraging myself to start small and building up from there. I started by joining Right to Life (RTL) and tabling once in a while. Then, I staffed the O'Connor Conference (OCC) and I stood outside as a greeter in the face of crowds. It was easier with people who I didn’t know. Then I moved forward, joined the RTL Board — something that I highly encourage more people to do. Now I send out weekly emails to the RTL community signed with my name on them. I may not be able to speak up every time, but I know that one day I will get there.
So, if you’re like me, experiencing that freeze-frame feeling of indecision about what to say when someone assumes you are pro-choice like them…. be aware that it is more than okay to start small. Put your name somewhere. Help out at a diaper drive. Volunteer at the OCC. You have a voice; you just have to let it grow.
Vita Saxa,
Tasha <3
Tasha Januszewicz is a Sophomore in the College studying Math, Computer Science, and Chinese. She currently serves on the Right to Life Board as Outreach Chair.
