Celebrating Motherhood More than Once a Year
"Mother's Day is a saccharine invention, a national fairy tale in a nation that does almost nothing to support mothers." So wrote Margaret Renkl, a writer and New York Times opinion columnist, in an article earlier this month.
Though I've long felt there to be a perplexing discrepancy between, on the one hand, the immense pressures placed on mothers (economically, socially, familially, and otherwise) and, on the other, the minimal direct support (be it in state or national policies or in day-to-day personal gestures) offered to them—quite literally the lifeblood of humankind—Renkl's frankly expressed conviction struck me in a new way.
While I disagree with the suggestion she ultimately gives—abolishing Mother's Day altogether—her weighty claim merits deeper consideration. Is there, as she suggests, some degree of national hypocrisy when it comes to how we treat mothers and motherhood on this prized holiday compared to any other day? And, if so, what are concrete ways pro-life individuals can work to support and celebrate mothers in all stages of pregnancy and life?
Motherhood Today
The strains of motherhood are demonstrably immense. While much could be said about these pressures, which certainly predate February 2020, COVID-19 has in many ways exacerbated their impact on mothers.
Numerous nonpartisan studies speak to this. In October 2020, Brookings noted:
"Millions of women were already supporting themselves and their families on meager wages before coronavirus-mitigation lockdowns sent unemployment rates skyrocketing and millions of jobs disappeared. And working mothers were already shouldering the majority of family caregiving responsibilities in the face of a childcare system that is wholly inadequate for a society in which most parents work outside the home...evidence shows working mothers have taken on more of the resulting childcare responsibilities, and are more frequently reducing their hours or leaving their jobs entirely in response."
The report goes on to assess the state of childcare options, concluding that "there simply are not enough affordable, high-quality childcare options to meet [the present] demand, disproportionately harming working mothers, especially low- and middle-income mothers and mothers of color." Moreover, this unaffordable childcare "also relies on an underpaid, primarily female workforce—so not only is it a bad system for those it serves, but it undervalues those it employs."
These findings, as well as those in the linked articles that space does not permit me to note here, warrant concern on their own merits. But also accentuating the necessity to take a closer look at these pressures is the reporting from earlier this week that the US birthrate in 2020, for the sixth consecutive year, declined yet again.
It has been long known that concerns about being able to financial support a(nother) child and lack of social support are among the chief reasons for which women procure abortions. Would it be unreasonable to speculate that the far-reaching stressors placed on mothers during the pandemic have exerted and will continue to exert added pressure on women to terminate their pregnancies? It does not require a stretch of the imagination to surmise that these intensified burdens may in fact be disincentivizing childbearing, entrenching and in some cases widening obstacles placed in the paths of mothers and hopeful mothers alike.
Practical Implications
A recent podcast that hosted pro-life luminary Ross Douthat and pro-choice champion Michelle Goldberg made clear that there are certain baseline convictions opponents and proponents of abortion can find common ground on (which, of course, is not to downplay the real, earnest differences existing between the two broad movements).
One is the aforementioned incontrovertible fact that "profound emotional and financial stressors [are placed] on mothers." Another is that the women who choose and are able to carry their pregnancies to term are most able to lead flourishing lives—and provide such a life for their child(ren)—when robustly supported by their immediate communities as well as society more broadly.
How can pro-life individuals bring this into practice? To borrow the verbiage of Pope Saint John Paul II, how can we build a 'culture of life' today:on campus, back home with family, in our workplaces, as alumni in 'the real world'?
Instead of altogether discarding Mother's Day in light of how, in many ways, it seems performative and at odds with how we treat mothers and motherhood more broadly and routinely, I suggest we begin with not only normalizing motherhood itself but also more actively supporting and celebrating it.
It can be as simple as not scowling at the exhausted mother trying to contain her uncontrollably screaming child(ren) on a lurching bus, on a crowded plane, or in the rear pews of a religious service. It can be more active and intentional, too: asking to deliver a meal to a pregnant or parenting acquaintance, volunteering babysitting services to them on a weekend evening, or reaching out to a local pregnancy center to offer help on an upcoming project. One does not have to be in favor of robust social welfare programs (though I am) to normalize, support, and celebrate motherhood in practical, concrete, everyday ways. The pro-life movement is uniquely positioned to take the lead in this, grounded as it is in the conviction that each human life has intrinsic worth, dignity, beauty, and purpose.
I suspect that each of us know at least one person who has been pregnant in the last year. With that in mind, I'd encourage us all to consider and act upon this one question: what can I do today to build a more authentic and comprehensive culture of life in my community, among those I know?
Kerry is the outgoing President of GU Right to Life and is immensely grateful for the opportunity to have served in and with this community over the last two years. She is also very grateful for her superstar mum, whose sacrifices have made so much - including her Georgetown education - possible.
